HOW MANY IEP MEETINGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULD?

With apologies to the 50 or so of you in the United States to whom this doesn't apply, I reproduce a very sad hypothetical account of professionals involved in special education in this country that has been circulating among parents concerned about the education of children with disabilities:

If IEP team members were asked "How many IEP meetings does it take to change a light bulb," this is what [the author] imagines they might say:

Parent - "The light bulb is not the only thing that's burnt out."

General Education Teacher - "No one said I was going to have to teach changing light bulbs."

Case Manager - "If you hadn't wanted so many hours of service in that room, maybe the light bulb wouldn't have burned out."

Transition Coordinator - "I think they cover that in life skills."

Special Education Teacher - "We don't need a light bulb, it's not like they're reading or writing."

Special Education Director - "We'll have to just keep changing his placement until we find a room that has a light bulb."

Resource Teacher - "The side benefit is that we'll have to bring them up from the basement."

Teaching Assistant - "We don't really need a new light bulb, there's enough light coming off the television."

School District Attorney - "The regulations don't require light in the timeout room."

Dean of Discipline- "Is there supposed to be a light in the time-out room?"

Assistive Technology Team - "First, we have to determine that the light bulb's really burnt out and then we can trial a flashlight."

School Nurse - "I don't know how many it will take to change the light bulb, but all the special ed children will have to go home until we do."

Secretary at the meeting - "O.K. then, how many minutes of light are we allotting in the IEP?"

Special Education Director - "We are willing to provide nightlights and maybe open the door a crack; we feel this is more than educationally appropriate and all Rowley requires."

Teacher - (Sobbing) "What do you people expect from us anyway!"

Parent - "I don't understand why you're being so difficult, it's not like we're asking for a chandelier."

School Psychologist - "The children are just lazy. If they really wanted to learn they'd study by candle light like Abraham Lincoln."

Janitorial Custodian - "I'd like to help you, but I'm not a part of the IEP team."

Dean of Discipline - "I'm just here to make sure we write it as 'change the light bulb.' The minute anyone uses the word, 'screw' this meeting is over."

Special Education Attorney - "The light bulb is the least important thing that needs to be changed in that classroom."

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Tags: specialeducation, IEP